Stop Self-Sabotage: Dreaming Big in Small Ways

(This post about dreaming big is part of my weekly Monday Morning Blast-Off email series. To get emails like this in your inbox every Monday morning, head here.)

Happy Monday!

Every week, I send out the Monday Morning Blast Off email to a really cool group of folks who want to boost their creative productivity.

Last week I asked people to tell me what some of their shoot-for-the-moon dreams were, and I got some really lovely responses — everything from having a quiet writing retreat to being a radical agent of change in the last years before retirement.

My point was that if we truly believe in those crazy big goals, we will set our daily goals to reflect that.

But I realized that dreaming big isn’t just about big picture goals.

We need to dream big about the small things, too.

And I’m terrible at it.

Dreaming big about zombies

I have a tendency to half-ass marketing my books. I figure if people find the book and like it, that’s great. But, like, I don’t want to annoy people by shouting about it!

I’m telling myself it’s because I want to focus on writing the next thing — but the real reason is because I’m afraid of watching a project bomb.

I don’t actually believe it could be a success, so I lie and tell myself I don’t care if it’s successful. And so I don’t put in the effort to make it happen.

And so it bombs. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I’m working on a sort of weird short story collection about zombies and corporate communication that I want to release this summer, and I’ve falling into that trap. Thinking it’s just, you know, this little book. Maybe somebody will like it. Maybe not. But whatever, I’ll just toss it up on Amazon and see.

But this week I realized that it could actually have a lot of potential to get picked up by niche media outlets, and promoted by big industry names. And if I truly believe in it, I need to double down on marketing to give it the best shot of going viral.

I can either shrug and “leave it to fate,” or I can work up the guts to email big-name people for blurbs, pitch it to major sites, pay for advertising, and ask for help from people with bigger audiences than me.

And, dammit, that’s what I’m going to do.

Because how can I expect myself to achieve big dreams if I’m scared to set big goals for small dreams?

Your homework

Do you have any passion projects that — let’s face it — you’re letting die because of lack of faith in yourself?

Ask yourself why. Is it because you’re afraid of putting 110% in and still failing to make a mark, like I am? Are you worried what others might think about it? Do you think it’s just not that important?

Now ask yourself what steps you’d have to take to ensure that project has a chance to shine.

You’re putting in the work. Don’t be afraid to push it across the finish line with all your strength.

You’ve got this.

Now tell me: what one thing are you going to do this week to help your project reach its full potential?


(If you’re curious about the weird zombie/corporate short story collection, one of the pieces that’s going in it was recently published on McSweeney’s. Check it out!)

A Creative’s Guide to Staying on Track with Resolutions

This is about the time of year when shiny New Year’s resolutions start to look a little tarnished.

Those thousand fiction words a day I was writing at the beginning of January? Yeah, not so much now. All that sugar I’m not supposed to be eating? Well, I may have made brownies a few days ago. And I may keep sneaking bites of my husband’s desserts.

I wrote last week about one important tool you can use to keep on track with resolutions and goals: accountability groups. But I think one of the biggest things you can do on your own is to create a system designed to support your new goals.

I’ve noticed a pattern in the goals of mine that have succeeded. It goes something like this: resolutions that begin life without intention and support never last for long, while those that I boost with good habits tend to get met.

I don’t know about you, but as I look back over the last month I can definitely see that same pattern emerging. The goals that I built up support around have actually gotten met. The ones that I just wished out into the universe? Nope.

Here’s the problem I see a lot with creatives, though: we resist building structure around our art.

We tell ourselves that we’ll wait for the Muse to strike, instead of committing to carving out 30 minutes every lunch break to practice our craft. We tell ourselves we’re too tired at the end of the day to write or paint or play music, instead of making the effort to arrange our schedules to support our art.

But I say that building structure around your goals is especially important for creative people.

Are you willing to take that step?

Do you want to carve out time for the work you love?

Or do you want to make the same resolution next January?

Set your intentions

I love this fantastic post by James Clear on setting intentions. In it, he talks about a study in which three groups were asked about their exercise habits. The first group (control) was simply asked how often they exercise. The second group was given a motivational pamphlet and speech. The third group was given the same motivation, but also asked to complete the statement, “During the next week, I will partake in at least 20 minutes of vigorous exercise on [DAY] at [TIME OF DAY] at/in [PLACE].”

Two weeks later, the third group was 3 times more likely to have exercised than the first two groups.

The moral is that simply saying “I want to write and submit a short story this month” isn’t nearly as effective as saying “I’ll write 300 words every morning before breakfast.”

Give yourself the best chance at hitting your goals by explicitly stating where, when, and how you’ll do them.

Set up a system

Great goals aren’t achieved in a vacuum – rather, they’re reached as a result of hundreds of tiny steps. Try thinking of your goal not as one single thing, but as a system of steps and habits.

For example, I’m working on the rough draft of a novella that I hope to have done by the end of February. To do that, I need to write to 20,000 words. Taking into account that I normally only write five days a week, I need to start writing 1000 words a day. I can write 1000 words in an hour – less time if I’m really into the story.

Knowing all that, I know I need to sit down at my desk one hour earlier every day during the week and get out those thousand words before I check my email and get sucked into client work.

Once I’ve set this system of Time + Place + Avoid Email into place, sitting down at my desk to write becomes easier.

Clear away your obstacles

As humans, we’re often our own worst enemies. It’s so easy to let excuses, inconveniences, and obstacles get in the way of working towards our goals – and so hard to let them go.

The biggest thing you can do for yourself as a creative person is to identify what obstacles are going to be get in the way of your goals, and nip them in the bud.

If I want to write fiction first thing in the morning, for example, that means I need to finish that pressing client project the night before, and install Freedom on my computer so I can block the internet. If I want to cut down on my sugar intake, I should probably (maybe) give away that box of chocolates grandma gave me for Christmas. If I want to stop getting distracted by Twitter, I should take it off my phone.

Track your progress

How do you know you’re improving if you’re not charting your progress? If you’re technologically minded, try using a goal-setting site like Lifetick or an app like GoalsOnTrack to keep track of goal progress. (For a nice rundown of different goal-setting apps, check out this post from Michael Hyatt.)

Or you can go old-school like me, and just hang a calendar above your desk with a color-coded system of check marks. (Feel free to give yourself a gold star when you’ve done extra well – I totally do whenever I hit 1000 words!)

Check in, and tweak as you go

The important thing is to not view your goals as static, but rather to allow them to adapt and change.

If writing three times a week before breakfast just isn’t working, try writing at a different time of day. Or try dictating while you walk, or some other form of writing that gets the words out. Scheduling yourself regular check-ins gives you the ability to adapt your resolutions as you go, rather than simply deciding they’re failures if they don’t work out on the first go around.

I saw this great post today on ZenHabits.net about conducting a monthly review. In it, Leo Babauta talks about taking a few minutes at the end of every month to check in with yourself and see where you’re succeeding, and where you could be doing little better.


 

How are your creative New Years resolutions going? What are you finding to be the biggest obstacles to making time for your creative projects? Let me know in the comments!

(This post was adapted from an article I originally wrote for GovPilot.)

Three Brains Are Better than One: How Accountability Groups Keep Me On Track

On Thursday, I fired up my computer at 8 AM to get on Skype.

I’m normally working that early already – or at least putting the kettle on and checking email – but I try to avoid conversating with the outside world until later in the day.

Thursday, I didn’t have a choice. It was already 11am Stephanie’s time and 6 PM Ayelet’s time in Israel. Plus, we had a special occasion to celebrate: our two-year “Grupoversary”.

Although we’ve never met in person, Stephanie and Ayelet have become an important part of my life over the last two years – they’re my freelance writing accountability partners. Every week, I check in about goals that I have for my freelancing business, my fiction writing business, and my health. (Crucial, since it’s easy to get wrapped up in work and forget to take care of our bodies!)

Over the last year we’ve not only challenged ourselves to try new marketing tactics and take on bigger clients, but also to start running and try Zumba. We’ve shared prospecting tips and healthy easy recipes. We supported each other goals to work on our websites, and to get better sleep. We’ve cheered on each other’s weekly to-do lists, and also gently suggested that maybe we should knock a few items off and go for a nice walk instead.

This group isn’t the only one that I check in with weekly.

I’m also a member of the Trifecta, a group started over three years ago with two old friends. It started one weekend when two of us who lived in Seattle rode our bikes up to Cowichan Bay, Vancouver Island, to visit our third friend. We sight-saw and caught up with each other, but we also spent the whole weekend talking about our plans for self-employment.

I was ready to stop working full-time as a copywriter and start freelancing. Nalisha was ready to quit a job she hated and make a living from her art. Andrea was already making money as a knitting pattern designer, but she wanted to grow her business into a real living.

We made a pact to check in with goals once a week, and we’ve done it ever since – for three years. In fact, next week will be our annual Trifecta retreat, where we’ll get together for another long weekend of wine, bikes, and serious talks about our business goals for the next year.

These two “groupoverseries” in the same month have gotten me thinking about just how important accountability groups have been to me over the last few years.

Between these two groups, I’ve seen my business grow. I can’t tell you how important it is to have a group of trusted people to bounce ideas off of. To ask: am I crazy for thinking this? would you buy this product? what would you charge for this kind of writing? how should I approach this client? is this story any good?

If you’re like most of us, you probably made some New Year’s resolutions. And if you’re like most of us, if you want to increase your chances of completing your New Year’s resolutions – whether personally or for business – you need accountability.

There have been so many times over the last three years when I followed through on a goal purely because I had told one or another of my accountability groups that I would. It was enough motivation just knowing that I would have to say: no, I never reached out to that client that I wanted to get; no, I didn’t prioritize my health this week no; I was too afraid to send that email to a clients to raise my rates.

How do you find your own accountability group?

You may know people already in real life who would make good accountability partners.

Or, you may want to try a specialized forum to meet new people. (My freelance accountability group met in the Freelance Writer’s Den when Ayelet posted that she was looking to start an accountability group to focus on health.)

Or, maybe you can think of several people in your industry who seem to be on the same level as you, and who you’ve liked meeting in the past. Try sending out an email asking if they’d be interested. You’d be surprised at how many people are looking for something like this – and all it takes is an email or a phone call. The worst that could happen is they say no, and you continue being colleagues.

Or, you may just want to start posting about your goals on your blog and create accountability for yourself that way. That’s one thing I really admire about writer Emily June Street – she’s always courageously sharing her goals and how she did every month.

However you find accountability, I encourage you to make that a goal this month.

Do you already have an accountability group? How has it helped you with your goals?